Your fourth principle: Love as an End Experience; really resonates with a piece I recently wrote titled "The Fire That Makes Us Human." We’ve become so obsessed with optimizing our lives that we’ve tried to turn love into a safe, managed asset.
You mentioned that we shouldn't try to "soften the orange" of the sunset, and I think that’s exactly where the fire lives. Real connection requires the courage to be shaped by another person, which is inherently risky and un-optimizable. Your "Whole Love" framework provides the necessary ground for that kind of mutual sacrifice and growth to actually take root. Thank you for this.
I really liked that you draw on Maslow, Fromm, and Rollo May, while still leaving room for reality: “this is an ideal that no one fully achieves.” This removes the pressure of “perfect relationships” and at the same time gives inspiration to move in that direction.
For me personally, Whole Love is when two imperfect people together create a space where each can be themselves and at the same time become a better version of themselves. Without the illusion that a partner should “heal” all my wounds, but with a sincere desire to inspire one another to grow as individuals and support each other’s growth.
A truly valuable guide. Saving it and will definitely come back to it.
Your fourth principle: Love as an End Experience; really resonates with a piece I recently wrote titled "The Fire That Makes Us Human." We’ve become so obsessed with optimizing our lives that we’ve tried to turn love into a safe, managed asset.
You mentioned that we shouldn't try to "soften the orange" of the sunset, and I think that’s exactly where the fire lives. Real connection requires the courage to be shaped by another person, which is inherently risky and un-optimizable. Your "Whole Love" framework provides the necessary ground for that kind of mutual sacrifice and growth to actually take root. Thank you for this.
I really liked that you draw on Maslow, Fromm, and Rollo May, while still leaving room for reality: “this is an ideal that no one fully achieves.” This removes the pressure of “perfect relationships” and at the same time gives inspiration to move in that direction.
For me personally, Whole Love is when two imperfect people together create a space where each can be themselves and at the same time become a better version of themselves. Without the illusion that a partner should “heal” all my wounds, but with a sincere desire to inspire one another to grow as individuals and support each other’s growth.
A truly valuable guide. Saving it and will definitely come back to it.
Wonderful writing, thank you.
It made me wonder, can one ever really tell the difference between love and attachment?
Is there really a line between caring for someone, and not wanting to lose what you feel you receive from them?