I think it's very possible, even likely, that your biggest contribution to the world on balance (as opposed to individuals, and I get that you have a lot of power to help in material ways) is going to come precisely out of those liminal moments of being with yourself. What seems to be a selfish pursuit may in actuality be germinating something important, even if it doesn't seem so at the time. Permission is a huge topic in itself--I've been thinking about it for years since reading James Hollis' "Living an Examined Life" particularly Chapter 14: Honor, Finally, What You Left Behind and Seize Permission to Be Who You Are." :)
We are in need of new vocabulary. What you describe is not “selfishness””. It is definitely self-oriented and self-generated but where is the term that doesn’t impose guilt and negativity?
Former Delta Force commander Pete Blaber wrote an excellent memoir entitled, "The Mission, the Men, and Me" -- and the title tells you everything. Solve for good outcomes that serve all constituencies, including yourself
Oh boy. Thanks for putting this in perspective. I've struggled with these questions my whole life. I wrote a line in a prayer that went: "Please help me be kind to those in need, tho remind me I need to be kind to myself too."
It might sound simple, but I’ve always thought of it like merging on to a busy freeway. The very best possibility is IF the merging traffic and the flow on the freeway can come together like a zipper. My turn, your turn, my turn, your turn. It gets all fouled up when, as happens all too often, one side or the other feels their place holds more importance than the others…. And it is even bad if someone in a lane is too deferential, refusing to zip, and holding off! “no, you first!”. Anyway, I often think in simple terms. To be a sentient being holds immeasurable worth, both within the individual “I”, and with the “I” we encounter. We ought to treat ourselves well, and treat others well too. Take turns. Zip!
I think it's very possible, even likely, that your biggest contribution to the world on balance (as opposed to individuals, and I get that you have a lot of power to help in material ways) is going to come precisely out of those liminal moments of being with yourself. What seems to be a selfish pursuit may in actuality be germinating something important, even if it doesn't seem so at the time. Permission is a huge topic in itself--I've been thinking about it for years since reading James Hollis' "Living an Examined Life" particularly Chapter 14: Honor, Finally, What You Left Behind and Seize Permission to Be Who You Are." :)
Splendid!
We are in need of new vocabulary. What you describe is not “selfishness””. It is definitely self-oriented and self-generated but where is the term that doesn’t impose guilt and negativity?
I called it healthy selfishness, but perhaps the term you are searching for is simply "self-care". :)
That’s a nice alternative. Still not what I still want to search for. It’s a sense of vitality and regeneration
Former Delta Force commander Pete Blaber wrote an excellent memoir entitled, "The Mission, the Men, and Me" -- and the title tells you everything. Solve for good outcomes that serve all constituencies, including yourself
Oh boy. Thanks for putting this in perspective. I've struggled with these questions my whole life. I wrote a line in a prayer that went: "Please help me be kind to those in need, tho remind me I need to be kind to myself too."
It might sound simple, but I’ve always thought of it like merging on to a busy freeway. The very best possibility is IF the merging traffic and the flow on the freeway can come together like a zipper. My turn, your turn, my turn, your turn. It gets all fouled up when, as happens all too often, one side or the other feels their place holds more importance than the others…. And it is even bad if someone in a lane is too deferential, refusing to zip, and holding off! “no, you first!”. Anyway, I often think in simple terms. To be a sentient being holds immeasurable worth, both within the individual “I”, and with the “I” we encounter. We ought to treat ourselves well, and treat others well too. Take turns. Zip!