I agree that respecting what others can teach us is psychologically and socially valuable. But I’m not persuaded that sincere, deep self-doubt is “humility wearing clothing.” It may be painful rather than performative, and it may reflect anxiety or low self-trust rather than a virtue-seeking pose. Equally, someone can admire other people’s knowledge while remaining convinced they themselves are right. Perhaps the relevant distinction is not humility versus fake humility, but calibrated fallibility versus either crippling self-distrust or closed-minded certainty.
It’s not just your mom reading these religiously! : )
I’m coming up on my 25th wedding anniversary (29 years together) so I was particularly interested in the last study. I also think personality traits can be changed and improved (as you have taught me, there is some flexibility in them). What I was skeptical about the Dutch study was just looking at “length” of a relationship instead of “strength” of a relationship. Time does not always equal progress. I predict a “strength” measurement would show greater alignment with more (but not all) personality traits.
Yeah, that’s a good way to describe the strength I mean. The bonds of real, equal, friendship. That has not historically been what marriage expected or created. It’s a recent phenomenon and not at all universal.
Thanks for the great roundup.
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I agree that respecting what others can teach us is psychologically and socially valuable. But I’m not persuaded that sincere, deep self-doubt is “humility wearing clothing.” It may be painful rather than performative, and it may reflect anxiety or low self-trust rather than a virtue-seeking pose. Equally, someone can admire other people’s knowledge while remaining convinced they themselves are right. Perhaps the relevant distinction is not humility versus fake humility, but calibrated fallibility versus either crippling self-distrust or closed-minded certainty.
Thanks for the great alternative perspective, Ari! I'm definitely going to mull this one over this morning as I get more coffee into my system. :)
It’s not just your mom reading these religiously! : )
I’m coming up on my 25th wedding anniversary (29 years together) so I was particularly interested in the last study. I also think personality traits can be changed and improved (as you have taught me, there is some flexibility in them). What I was skeptical about the Dutch study was just looking at “length” of a relationship instead of “strength” of a relationship. Time does not always equal progress. I predict a “strength” measurement would show greater alignment with more (but not all) personality traits.
And I think the variable is friendship. Not all long lasting marriages are between friends and that makes a huge difference.
Yeah, that’s a good way to describe the strength I mean. The bonds of real, equal, friendship. That has not historically been what marriage expected or created. It’s a recent phenomenon and not at all universal.
“Collective effervescence” is the term I needed for describing the joy of the crowd at a live music 🎶 festival.
https://newsletter.humanprogress.org/p/the-adhd-epidemic-is-just-an-overdiagnosis
What do you think about this study?
I love your Research Roundups!! Thank you so much!!
Thank you again. Your reviews are helpful, measured, and appreciated.
John Thompson