Where is the Self-Help for Neurodivergent People?
Most self-help is targeted toward neurotypical people and I find it so boring.
Most self-help is so freaking mind-numbingly boring.
No disrespect to all the self-help gurus out there (don’t want to hurt your egos!) but so much of what I see is targeted toward neurotypical people and I aint that (to the grammar police in my comments section: yes I said aint, deal with it).
I dunno, I just find myself really craving more self-help gurus that acknowledge neurodiversity and the many quirky and unique pathways people can take to self-actualization. So much of what I see is so vanilla and straight and narrow and says so many obvious things that neurotypical people love to hear (“being in a stable marriage is the key to well-being”, “connection is important”, “happiness requires being of service”, “the more you give, the more you get back”, etc. etc., blah blah yea we get it.)
I think the problem is that so much of self-help tries to sell this one-size-fits-all approach to growth and development. If you take this protocol, you will look like me and be as successful as me— often with the self-help guru held up as the pinnacle of human potential.
But that’s just not how self-actualization works. You’ve got to find your own path, and quite frankly, for most neurodivergent folk, the path looks anything but normal!!!
I’d love to see self-help that really truly acknowledges the many paths to self-actualization. That acknowledges the fact that you can be on the autism spectrum and maybe your path is an obsessive mastery of something and being extremely selective about who your friends are because that’s not actually your top priority. Or maybe self-help that acknowledges that you can have ADHD and that your path may involve jumping into a million different interests and being totally scattered and a freaking mess but still loving your life— and THAT’S TOTALLY FREAKING OK. Or maybe self-help that acknowledges that you can be a highly sensitive person and your path may look like reducing as much stimulation as possible and seeking out environments where people are equally as sensitive and creating something really weird and wonderful together. Or self-help for people who have schizotypy (a mild form of schizophrenia that is just a cool personality trait associated with creativity) that acknowledges the path of self-actualization may involve talking and dressing really weird and different and having a rich imagination and saying bizarre things that are totally awkward in a neurotypical context but in just the right context can be transformed into awesome art.
In essence, I think we need more self-help that is neurodivergent-friendly. Or heck, at least more self-help that doesn’t just repeat the same things over and over and over again about how we’re all supposed to live our lives. Because, well, the truth is that you are allowed to live the life that is best for you. And that just won’t look the same for everyone.
Who is with me on this one?
HELL YES, I'm with you! (Said the Highly Highly Sensitive, Solitude-Loving Introvert) And thank you for your work in the world, Scott. 💜
OMG this!! I was having a similar conversation (more like a one-sided rant) not long ago with a friend who is writing a self-help and asked me to read it for him. I so agree about the neurodivergence, and might even argue that *everyone’s* authentic path, even those of the neurotypical, if authentic, won’t look like anyone else’s. It will be made up of things that make us unique and eccentric.
And this thing you point out, “you take this protocol, you will look like me and be as successful as me— often with the self-help guru held up as the pinnacle of human potential.” This alone makes me so uncomfortable!!
It’s setting up striving for some kind of illusory perfection. Something that isn’t achievable, most likely not even for the gurus themselves, who are projecting an image in order to sell something. What if we left perfection out of it, even found a way to embrace and integrate our imperfections? What if we radically embraced being human and what makes us different?